The lilies bloomed today.

12:43 am
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I feel like my intestines are being pulled and stretched away from me.
My abdomen feels bubbly, bloated; I am on my period.
I also soiled another pair of shorts...

I'm finally eating the spaghetti I've been wanting to eat since 9ish today?
Earlier, the sister and I left our rooms to spend some sisterly bonding time together and make spaghetti!
She prepared the noodles, and sat down to continue reading her magazine as I stood in the kitchen across of her and minced onions and garlic.
Blinking and squinting, the onions slightly burned my eyes..
I managed though, because I was avoiding the fumes...
We laughed, and giggled, chit-chatted about the funnies, and then the noodles were done.
She asked the question I still wonder and think about if I didnt choose what I chose...
She asked: "Do you want to pour the noodles? Or hold the strainer?"
I literally hummed, and thought about it, and chose to have her poor the boiling olive-oil infused noodles into my basket..
fuck.
She was holding the pot pretty high, and poured it out pretty fast, it splashed off the walls of the sink, and like a wave, it fell onto my right forearm and fingers. I swore at her.
I was in pain, and I raged when she told me it was my fault.
I cried out of frustration and stormed off.
My arm had these red oddly shaped spots, and I was just really upset. I went back out to grab a frozen dinner, and back into my room to be the stubborn little faggot I was, and layed my arm on this frozen meal.
When the redness started to fade away, I became even more upset because I felt extremely guilty and pussy-like for crying over that.
I think it may be my emotions, i dont know. But tonight I wasted a good night to hang out with my sister, since she's hardly over.
Sadface.
Well, We're probably going to laugh it off tommorow, LOL
It always happens.
Brb! Going to eat now, Dinner is getting cold.<3

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1:39 am

back.
So the lilies bloomed today.
I think I may be in love, and I can't get this person out of my head.
It really scares me.
As much as he says that it won't happen, I'm afraid that he would leave or disappear.
I've already told him how I felt.
I still find it amazing how quickly he could cheer me up.
He makes it hard for me to feel sad, LOL.
It's a different feeling. And I can't get enough of him.

I just sidetracked. I feel so stupid now just thinking about the person I was a month ago. I was in love with this other guy for a long time. I'd even worry about his health, because the thought of not being able to grow old with him made me ache. I admired everything about us, that I couldnt see what he was doing to me, I couldnt hate him.
Then that week came, and I slowly started to wake up.

Now theres this really strong feeling that's stirring in me.
It's not really revenge, it's more like rising, and being free.
I am no longer attatched, or stuck.
Days can go by, and it doesnt hurt anymore.
I am fucking happy.
Which brings me back to him.<3
I don't think I've met anyone that's ever gotten me to have hope for love again,
To have me let go of my past, and be happy about it.
He inspires me.<3
About to call you now, its 2:06 am
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