Cheese in a can

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Circus Animals

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4:58 pm

I still need to get my hands on those cookies...
Btw I just noticed something.

MY SEWING PROJECT!!!!!
How did that even slip out of my hands!?!

Truth is, I didnt even touch the fabric yet.
All I did was doodle in my sketchbook, and it later transformed into a shopping list of gift ideas for Christmas. lmao


I am so dissapointed with myself right now.
I was wondering around the tumblr world for ideas and inspiration, and it just made me remember. sigh*
Okay brb.

Im going to grab my sketch book and work some Krizko magic.

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It's working.

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8:56 am

Woops.
Sorry about lastnight, I GOT DISTRACTED AGAIN.
Why do I do that damnit.
WHY. WHY. WHY.
I need to put my poker face back on.

I just felt incredibly lonely and depressed, and emotional. :/
I think I'm getting my period soon...
That's how you know because you could tell by my posts!
My posts start to ramble on about love, and me plotting evil plots on poor clueless boys..


Well, what's really interesting is that my stomach expanding goal seems to be working!
I eat so much now, it's amazing.
Lastnight I decided to hang out in my room in just my panties and cotton tee..
(I know it seems unnessecary to say that, but I wanted to give you guys a visual, teehee.)

And I was flipping out because while I was sitting on my bed I started to lightly poke the sides of my hips and GUESS WHAT.
I'm getting fat! Yay!
I was so amused because its so soft and feels swollen...
It's just that I use to have just muscle and bone around my hips.
And now theres cute fats!!! ^__^

Brb, breakfast time!

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10:37
Hey.


A friend showed me that cute blog of yours.
Does that really make you feel better..?
Is it really necessary for you to say such things?
We are two separate individuals.
And we are different. Do not compare myself to you.



It's not very respectful to compare yourself to others like that.
I will not tolerate it, I've been so depressed.. don't you have any consideration to just keep your relationship to yourself for awhile and be humble about the both of you?

A month or two after our breakup and you think that there's nothing wrong with advertising your new found love in this manner?

There's nothing wrong with being proud and happy about you two, but when you compare yourself to his past girlfriends, hence; me.
You are crossing the line.
When you brag and boast about you two- What is your goal?
Sigh*
I really thought you were a cute kind-hearted girl..
Maybe I'm wrong.





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2:22 pm

I know it's really un healthy but I really can't drink water alone.
I don't remember the last time I drank a glass of water...
I think it was the water fountain back in Intermediate school...



Anyways!
So I was watching disturbing videos last night and I learned something about myself.

You know what's really weird...

I can watch humans being torturted or killed in videos, But I can't help but cry when I see the same happen for animals...

Seeing humans being tortured or killed- I do feel bad, and feel sympathetic for them..

But when it's done to animals, I get so angry with people.
Most of these animals are hopeless and defenseless.
It just makes me sick to my stomach.
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9:28 pm
Why does this always happen to me in Walmart..
I was walking toward the health center, and a man in his late thirties, AND his son (probably 7 years old) follows me into an aisle and tries to start a conversation with me.
I need to stop being nice.
Most of the time I just briefly smiled and nodded while walking away from the guy, But I guess thats not enough of a hint to show that I don't want to talk to him.

He kept calling me "sweetie", and "baby", and I finally literally ran away from him in the end, LOL

I quickly pivoted into an aisle, and I ran to the other side of the store, LMAO.

Anyways, I bought a shitload of junkfood!<3
(Fruit drinks Circus Animal Cookies, and cheese in a can!!!)
I'm also going to start drinking Ensure Plus, :D
It's suppose to help me gain weight, teehee

Pictures!

Four more days.

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5:34 pm

Just woke up.
It's amazing how much energy you get from taking 2-3 hour naps!
I just discovered something really interesting..
I'm not sure if it's true, but I'll wait for a few more days to see if it repeats itself....

Don't mind me. ^___^
It's just another one of my silly experiments.
Don't you remember?
I am a mad scientist.

*giggle*
Be right back.
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6:53 pm

You know what I really admire about us..?

Aside from all the crazy memories and times,
there is one reason I always keep close to my heart.
The way we came to be.
We weren't looking for love.
We just, fell in love with each other.

You can't go around looking for love,
It's unexpected.. It should catch you off guard.


Love is cute,
but the one thing I cherish even more, is passion.


Passion.....

Passion is a powerful emotion.
And we have it.
I still tremble when I am close to you.
My heart skips a beat every time I hear from you.

I'll shut up now.
:]

How bad do you want it?

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4:39 pm

The sun is finally not shining into my room!
This is when I open up my blinds and let new cool air come in, ^_^

Be right back,
My mum is home from work.
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9:12 pm

I just woke up from another nappy..
*yawn*
I'm really hungry so brb!
Oh,
And let the games begin. *giggle*

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11:11 pm

Hey.. It's "11:11"
Well I just finished eating..
I was hanging out with my brother and father in the living room, and we were watching some cute family soccer movie..
And even though the movie was about children,
I couldnt stop thinking about Italian men.LOLOL

Lmao...
I think I just have a fetish for anything foreign..
Just knowing that their roots and origins are diffrent from mine-
It makes me want to explore their world.
And Italian guys are just sexy.
They have this charm and natural romantic vibe..
Hahaha okay I need to stop.

Aside from tonights random fantasy,
I'm starting to realize that I am a single girl....
I'm single! It's still a shock to me.
I know it's pretty late to finally feel it, but lately I've been going out alot.
So many new faces, and people....
It's so exciting and fun! ^__^
At the same time, I feel dangerous.
So I tend to keep my distance from others because I still feel like I could hurt them..
I should'nt really do that though.
Because it's self torturing.

Maybe I'll do another experiment..
Or even make it a part of my new year's resolution.
To not hold back.
....
Yeah.

Let's see how this goes.

*grin*

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2:21 am

Oh here's the picture I promised.<3



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3:19 am

I

can't

sleep.

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4:23

There are no stars out.
Which means I'm sleeping the normal way tonight.
When the sky is bedazzled with stars,
I like to sleep on the opposite side of my bed where I usually lay my feet...
Because in that position I can look out my window and watch the sky until my eyes become heavy..

I should feel pretty lucky huh.
That there are no city lights, structures, or buildings in my view...
That all I really hear are crickets and the early birds awake this morning..
I don't hear cars, or trains, or any form of transportation since I live in such a quiet neighborhood...
On an beautiful island with clean air, and blue skies...
I'm happy.
I'm waiting for my parents to wake up so I can get some coffee!
*stretch*
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This Christmas.

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9:05 pm
Hi.
This Christmas was really different..
Maybe I'm just getting older? Or is it the recession?
No.
Even though I spent alot of time with family-
It's still pretty depressing and lonely.
I guess I just have to get used to this.

*Looks for another playlist to listen to*
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10:21 pm

I Get so distracted..
Note to self:
New year's resoultion: Focus Krystle, Focus!
I'm going to eat some left over bbq!
Steak and eggs.
Brb buttercups.

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11:58 pm

Just finished up a drama and my meal.
I'm feeling a bit better!
Drama's are so sad and hopeful, it makes me feel better!
I'm going to be up really late tonight...
To clean my room.
I have gift wrapping materials all over over the place!
brb in a few minutes.
Going to eat some dessert, and find Shadow!
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12:30 am

I know it's already a new day, but my day hasn't ended yet!
I told you guys I'd be up.
I'm eating my second slice of warm banana bread,
and sipping on Mountain Dew!
I couldn't find Shadow tonight too ;[
A new thought has arose though.

Whenever I open my backdoor this late, I still think about it.
Actually, I think about alot of things, but tonight I thought about you.
I just can't wait till the New year starts because on the last day of 2009,
I plan to reminisce, to think back, to cry everything out, and never look back.

When I opened the door and leaned against the door frame,
Only then I thought about that night.
That night I confessed to you.

It was a half moon..
I remember because I looked at it when you told me to come out the first time.
There were no stars out, and the moonlight made my skin look so pale.
I was cold, and tonight I was holding myself While I looked down the stairs.
I wanted to imagine how It felt like leaving.
So I walked down the stairs and I wanted to cry.
I was looking at two diffrent perspectives now.
Do you remember the last words I said?




I remembered gripping my mouth closed with my palm as I ran back to my room.
Because I could'nt believe what I just said.
I felt like a monster.

Remembering bits and pieces of my past- it just builded up from there.
I remember dropping to the floor and curling up into the corner of my room to cry.
Gasping for air. Because it hurt so bad trying to hold it in.
I was slightly rocking back and forth.
.......
.....

Enough of that.
What really had me thinking tonight is how humans react to things.
Why do we do this...?

Is it just natural to us..?
Is it because as infants,
we were rocked back and forth to be put into a restful heal-like sleep?

To be resorting in such a vulnerable area- A corner.
It's as if we're surrending ourselves...
Because you feel like you have no where else to go, right?

I know I'm not the only person that's been through this.
And I'm sure many has had it worse.
Just experiencing this horrible feeling- It's scary.
I really felt like my heart was going. to stop.


Everyone always says that hurting yourself, or even thinking suicide is selfish and stupid.
I agree to that to an extent.
But when your'e crying in a corner, gasping for air because you can't handle the pain of holding yourself together,
That adrenaline kicks in, and you feel like you can do anything.
For some, they hurt themselves for self pity...
Others do it because they feel like it could ease the pain.
But for me, I wanted to do it because I was so angry at myself.
I wanted to be punished.


And thinking back at it now, I'm so happy I didn't do a thing.
*sigh*
All of those years of counseling- I remember being told to call someone.
And I did.
And I'm happy I did!

Things will never be the same.
That's all I know.
And moments like these always makes you stronger.
I just don't want to experience that feeling ever again!

*Puts food away*

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2:30 am

Hey.
So remember what I wanted to do on the last day of 2009?
It's so much more.
For the next 5 days I'm going to be preparing myself for 2010!
I want to be ready for all of my resolutions and changes physically and emotionally!
For example, I've been eating alot.
One of my resolutions is to gain weight,
and I've been trying to expand my appetite! ^__^
(Meaning trying to stretch out my stomach so I can consume alot in one sitting. LOL)

Aside from other secret resolutions, (teehee)
Or other minor habits I want to rid....
There are emotional goals and plans I have!
....
Which is also a secret too, hehehe
You guys don't have to know.
All I need to say is that there is going to be change.
:]

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3:27 am

"Oh hey"

.....

Oh Hey,
Fuck you.



Getting off the computer,
Alot of new fun pics here if you'd like people.
http://krizkotv.tumblr.com/

.....
.....

And you.

Now that the jolly season has passed, I can do this.
When I'm not around, Do you feel lonely?
It's just the internet.
Maybe you'll see me in person.
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4:14 am
Ok I lied.
I'm not sleeping yet.
Hi.
I'm just starting to tidy up my room now, hehe
I just discovered an old glass of juice in my room that's starting to mold up, LOL
I'm so fascinated by it.
I took a picture of it, so you'll see it sooner or later.
:D
Be excited.
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Moonlight.

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12:41 am

Hi.
How are you?
I'm fine.
It's one of those nights again.
Where I'm not sure whether I feel sad or happy.
I'm listening to a Yiruma playlist right now...


I've just discovered that I really need to blog.
It motivates me to get things done....
If I didnt tell the whole world that I wanted to design some new nails, I probably wouldn't have them done this quickly.

Another thing that I'm worried about is finishing my Christmas shopping...

Heres my plan.
If I dont get my sewing project done by tonight,
I will finish it in the morning and head out by late afternoon?
I'm thinking about going to watch Avatar alone tommorow too!
I want to go on a little adventure tommorow. :]

I just feel like venturing off on my own, proudly wearing my diy clothing and nails, getting some coffee , and shopping for gifts,

I'm planning to cut my hair shorter as well because it's grown pretty long...
And I feel that it may relieve some stress.
So that's pretty much it.
Maybe I'll be back after I finish cleaning up my room in an hour or so. <3

Oh, and here's more food I ate-
I'm trying to prepare myself for my new years resolution!
To gain weight. ^____^

I just took a picture of these because they look so pretty and delicious.
Peanutbutter banana sandwich and cheesy jalapeno pasta!



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Where did my mustache go?

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1:53 am

Tonight was SO FUN.
I'm so dissapointed though because I didnt complete my Christmas Shopping!
And not to mention how messy my room looks now :[
When I'm rushing to get ready to go out, clothes are thrown everywhere!
That's why I'm always cleaning because I'm ALWAYS making a mess.
In the end I just threw on a plain outfit- skirt and a long sleeve white button top.


Atleast I had enough time to put my nails on! :D

Alright so Huy picked me up and we went to the mall to meet up with his girlfriend (my sister Kim) so we can go Christmas Shopping together!
We all went our seperate ways.
I told them I'd go to Sears to use the bathroom and right when I was left alone...
One of those workers at the kiosks called me over to "try their product".
Being the kind person I am, I just couldnt ignore the woman and keep walking..
WHY DID I LOCK EYES WITH HER.

We ended up chatting, she straightened my whole head. and pressured me to put a two hundred dollar straightner on layaway. LOL



She told me that She would sell it to me half off if I paid twenty dollars up front and come back to pay for the other $80 to get the straightner another day...
She gave me this offer because she told me "She really likes me"
LOLOL
She was so manipulative...
After all my shrugs, and excuses I gave in.
She really wouldnt give up :[
I handed her twenty dollars and She gave me this paper she called my "receipt".


I walked away screaming at myself in my head- "WHY DID I DO THAT!!?!?!"
"WHY KRYSTLE WHY!?!?! , WHY DIDNT YOU JUST SAY NO!?!"
I looked at the paper and it didnt even look legit.
It looked like anyone could of written it,
What if she's not even there when I come back!?

I was shitting my pants.


I later ended up meeting with my sister and her boyfriend, and I explained the whole situation.. They were upset with my pussy ways ofcourse; and Huy, (my sister's bf) being the blunt and straight up person he is, just went straight to the kiosk to get my money back.
The funny thing was that the woman that sold me the product wasn't even there! o-O
He just talked to another worker at the kiosk, and got my money back.
YES.

We later used that money on sushi! ^______^

After that, we went to Starbucks, and I got an iced caramel macchiato....
We went to Walmart,bought a whole load of sunflower seeds, and a pair of working shoes for my dad!
I also got a mustache from one of those quarter vending machines, heehee!
and then we ended the night at Asian Cuisine!
Enjoy the pictures.

Oh yeah! The eyelashes- My sister got them for me from her working place!











LOLOLOL Okay.
This picture because I wanted to give you guys a "visual"
While we were waiting for our food at the restraunt I asked :
"Hey, Where did my mustache go..?"
Ignoring weird glances from others in the restraunt, I looked all over my space in search of my precious mustache!
After a while, I pouted, and accepted the fact that I may have lost it forever......

Half an hour later into dinner, as my sister was brushing off salt that has fallen onto her lap, She felt something..... fuzzy?

MY MUSTACHE!!!
LOL we laughed so hard just imagining my sister walk into the restraunt with a mustache on her inner thigh..
I have no idea how it got there, but I have it now. :]

Extra pictures on my tumblr*
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Light me up, put me on top... Lets Fa la la la la la la..

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12:20 pm
I'm going late Christmas shopping today at 6..
And right now I'm wondering around the tumblr world for inspiration-
for my new project!
I've only eaten waffles and pandesals so far because I want to save my appetite for BIC MAC SUPER SACK MONDAYS!!!
Teeehee.

Now back to the sewing project..
I'm hoping to finish it by today..
if not today, then by Wednesday or Thursday because I'm hanging out with some friends...


Here's the fabric I'm using... Isn't the design cute!?!




I'll post up some pictures tonight!<3

Oh and my Christmas tree is delicious.







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12:50 pm

Alright so my sister and I always come up of weird "Iron Chef" scenarios...
You know that epic part where they reveal the secret ingredient?
LMAO

Aside from other weird ideas, one of the most ridiculous was this...


"The secret ingredient is...........
CHRISTMAS TREE!!!!"

LOL
I know it may not be THAT funny, but you had to be there when that came out.
It was just ridiculously funny.
Yeah, thought I'd share. :D

* goes back to sketching*
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Finally finished my nails!~

Wow...
I really underestimated this one...
After three hours of squinting, glueing, trimming and shaping, it was complete!

I bought plain short acrylic nails from Walmart- They were 6 dollars for a bunch!
After finding the right sizes for my nails I lightly glued the back of the nails to bobby pins so it would be much easier to work on and control!

I painted them platinum white, and did a glitter gradient look onto the nails, (You cant really see it in the picture, but in person it looks so much nicer! ^_^)

Since this is my first time trying out nail deco art, I used really cheap rhinestones, and tiny beads...
(You can get them at any craft store!)

I had an old necklace with tiny chains I cut apart to add onto my thumbs...

And to make sure everything is intact I glued each and every little cranny so it's peel proof! (hopefully)

I'll wear these tommorow when I go Christmas shopping, and I'll be sure to take pictures with them! :D
Thank you<3

Christmas Partay!

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11:20 pm

Hello ! ^__^
So here are pictures from My dad's job's Christmas Party!
It's held at the Maui Beach Hotel every year where we dine in a private room, have a all you can eat buffet, and play games! Here are some pictures I took!<3
























Long story short, The night was fun.<3

Hide your face forever. Dream and search forever.

Hey you.

It's getting really old.

As for me,

A new year is going to start soon.
New rules, new motives, new everything.

I know, I know, this is an early New year's blog, but I want to do this now, while I still feel this way.

I am thankful for every heartbreak, and every bad incident that has happened this year.
Though it was not planned,
It came into my life to reveal another layer of myself.
The purpose of experiencing a hard time is having it shake you up,
tear apart your ego a little bit, and to show what your capable of.
It transforms your life.
And it has.


Let this be a warning to all of you.
No matter how bad my life looks like at it's lowest point; You will certainly not bring me down. Say whatever you want. It won't phase me.

Quite frankly, it fuels me. Your hate is motivating.
It's flattering to be important enough to be under your magnifying glass.
All of your failed attempts of trying to crack me.
Especially when I'm recovering from a recent downfall?
Give it up.
You have no idea.
It makes me work so much harder to wipe that fake grin off of your face.
It lets me make my dreams happen. So thank you.
Thank you for reminding me what a godawful person I was when I was young and weak. Thank you for making me feel like the smallest piece of walking flesh on earth when you mention the girl I was back then.
Thank you for never letting me forget who I was.
It makes me love the person I am today even more.
It’s given me a reason to build myself up and bring you down.
Thank you for making me realize that my dreams haven’t died.





I am going to revive those powerful feelings I had back in August.

And I want to try something new.
Taking a diffrent approach again;
but this time I won't let it off so easily.
You were lucky.







2010 will be an interesting year.
New year, New me.

Wow, tumblr is pretty fun.

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11:04 pm

Don't worry. :]

Alright, so I woke up this morning , ate waffles, and guess who called!?
Kevin!!
He called to check on my schedule to see if I was free today, and to make sure I had no plans..
Little did I know... (LOL)
Kevin was planning to surprise Lani and I for lunch at Wei weis!
YAY

I was so upset because I forgot my camera.. :[
And this was the only picture I took on my phone..



Too bad I wasn't that hungry...
And it sucks just thinking about it because I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
damit. brb.

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AH HAH!

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11:38 pm.
I BEAT THE TIME!
Alright, so heres a new update!
I couldnt fight my urges; so I decided to get a tumblr!
And No.
I am not abandoning my blogger.
This blogger will forever be my blogging home!

I decided to use tumblr for all the extra fun stuff I wouldnt post here!
The link to my tumblr is on the sidebar!
Enjoy.

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I am pooped.

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1:35 am.

Damit.
Since I'm blogging so late, it's going to show that I skipped a day...
I've been sleeping around three or four in the morning for this past week..
:[

Oh well.
Alot of things happened today.
Aswell as my change of thoughts...

So let's start shall we!?

Well,
I woke up around seven this morning because my sister wanted to use my laptop.
I was suppose to wake up early anyway, but being the sloth I am, I told myself I'll stay in bed for half an hour more.....

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11:31 pm

LOL
Okay so I got distracted.
And I was really tired so I just went to bed... lmao sorry about that!
I was home with my parentals cleaning all day!
We moved some furniture around so we can make room for a Christmas tree.
And to clean up the house for any unplanned Christmas family visits!
Anyhow, allow me to finish yesterday's blog!

.....

I arrived at the dentist around 9:45 am...
To be honest, I don't like going to the dentist...
Who likes their mouths open for long periods of time..?
Having cold tools work into your oral cavity...
With that heavy fluoride smell you can't escape from...
Not to mention how embarrassing it is for me and my sister to still be going to a children's dentistry!

Sitting in waiting rooms with "Winnie the pooh" stickers on the wall, and children ranging from ages 5- 12 sitting around you..
LOL damn.

Maui is so small that I know the dental assistants.
Most of them are alumni's of my high school, or people I just know of from friends..
And I just find it to be awkward and cumbersome for me to see them around..
Just knowing that they know the ins and outs of my mouth...
But I shouldn't worry so much about it, because they're just doing their jobs... right?

Right.
Well here are the free stuff they give to you!
(toothpaste, dental floss, toothbrush)
I wear a headband like that at home to keep my bangs out of my eyes :D



Oh! Yesterday was also my parent's marriage anniversary! (I think it was their 24th)
And guess where we ate for lunch!?
KFC!!!!!!!

OH YEAH.

Everyone knows that KFC stands for "Krizko's favorite chicken"
TEEHEE.






I also found it really cute because there was this old couple sitting behind my parents... I just find old people really cute, LOL.
That's another weird fact about me..
They remind me of big babies.

When you smile at them, they give you that warm smile back..
That wise "been there, done that," smile...
As if they know what's in store for you?
I just love the elderly, period.
Which reminds me!
[STORY TIME!]
About this one time where I rode the bus, and as an old man was standing up to get ready for his stop, his pouch fell off his lap, and all of his coins poured out and fell onto the bus floor.

I was sitting all the way in the back ,and I was shocked to see that no one was getting up to help him pick up his money!!
He was about to get on his knees to clean up this unfortunate mess.
It wasn't long before I quickly got to the front to help him,
seeing people glance at me with embarrassment because they were probably too timid to help him out.
Right when he got off, he told me to keep all of the coins I picked up.
Refusing to take them,he just smiled and walked off...
With a handful of coins I slowly walked back to my seat.
Some heads were turned to windows, and others grinned at me;
I just sat down and felt really great.
Twas a nice feeling.
Ive never used those coins till this day!

- Okay back to the blog!
When I finished eating, I wrapped my chicken bones and leftovers in napkins and stuffed them in my bag,
HEEHEE.
I always do this.
It's for my kitties! ^___^



Oh and yay for mashed potato hearts.



After KFC, Me and my mum dropped my dad off at the clinic, and we went shopping!
Shopping for my dad's job's infamous Christmas party.
I'm always excited for this.
I'll tell you guys about it this weekend, because that's when it is!


I bought two dresses.
A dark red floral dress, and a light colored floral dress with the same size and shape!
I'm wearing the red one for the Christmas party, and the white one-
I just always wanted an innocent looking dress....
It makes me feel like a virgin.
LOLOLOLOL
No, but seriously,
I just want to run through a field of flowers with this dress on.



Okay lets fast forward to around 6pm where I got ready for dinner!
I had a little photo session!
I later changed into jeans because I felt that these shorts wouldn't look so flattering if I'm planning to to eat a whole lot. >=D




We got to Dragon Dragon around 7 pm..
We ordered Fried rice, Eggflower soup, Honey walnut prawns, Mushrooms in black sauce, Famous lemon chicken, Beef and broccoli, Opakapaka fish and a seafood sizzling plate!




When we finished our soups, the waiter grabbed everyone's bowls except MINES!
I don't understand why.



LOLOLOL

Alright, It's already 3 am!
Next time I shouldn't be on aim while I'm trying to blog.. there's too much people instant messaging me right now.. And I'm on invisible!
After dinner we went to Walmart, and I bought lashes, pure acetone, and face wash.
Tadah!~



I know I don't need to use fake eyelashes,
but they come handy when i'm too lazy to put on any eye makeup..
Heres a picture I took earlier in the day, with out fake lashes..
Theyr'e pretty decent eh?