You are viewing my old blog! Please follow and visit my new blog okay?!

It's  interesting to look back at these old entries- not to reminisce about them.. more for realizing how far my mind has grown or matured.

I'm not even sure if I have any alive followers reading this right now.. oh well.
is anyone out there..?
*water drop "bloops" to it's ring death, sending chilling echoes through this dark abandoned cave*
lolollolololololol

I haven't updated my new blog  in almost 2 months, I know >-<  BUT you should still folllow it, and, erm,  I've been very busy, travelling around... (excuses.. ehehhe I've been lazy ok ok ok and distracted lololololol) I'll update with gillions of content and pictures soon, I promise!
so here it is!  (though I recommend you reading the rest of this post before getting lost in my new blog! )

http://sugar-pet.blogspot.com/


I need to get back in the habit of posting because I truly do miss it, and my writing skills are very dull now, it's depressing. I can't count the amount of times I've re-worded sentences in this post alone. I feel like a dull   office vase with synthetic followers collecting dust and coffee breath.  It upsets me to think that if only I was consistent with my posts, I would be overflowing of something so much more vibrant.. or "ever changing". Like fresh flowers, they die and wither away, but it's sweet scent turns musky...It's weird but strangely most people smell it a second time (or more) to figure out whether or not they like it. Like the pages of an old library book, or the slow burning smoke of an incense stick. You can see ripples or wrinkles in it's petals, and it's stems left tough and brittle. You may not look at them in the same light but it sure makes you think, and that'ts what's wonderful about looking through these posts. I love viewing feelings in different perspectives, appreciating the change and what it's become. When I don't document my thoughts or little special moments in my life, I fear that I'll forget them. Sure, some memories will stay, but you won't ever get close to reliving them or reading details that trigger thoughts you may never find yourself getting lost in. And I love that. I am absolutely in love with getting lost in my thoughts.

 My mind used to be a living hell and I thought I'd go crazy. If you could imagine acres of ever growing spiderwebs, and the worlds most scariest exotic insects being caught in it, resulting in waves of shuddering semi-clear threads, and spiders of all shapes and sizes wrapping their prey in bundles and fighting over food and territory and thousands of heads hatching to thousands of little itty bitty spiders with uncountable eyes, AND THEN IMAGINING A WILD  FIRE CATCHING THAT ON FIRE  AND THE AMOUNT OF CHAOS AND PANIC HAPPENING, AND THEN A LITTLE FARM GIRL IN LOOSE PIGTAILS OPENING HER BACKDOOR ONLY TO SEE HER BACKYARD BECOME A RAGING FIRE WITH THE SMELL OF BURNT SPIDER HAIR IN THE AIR LEAVING HER TO SCREAM A HIGH PITCHED TONE ONLY SPIDERS COULD HEAR SO THE SPIDERS START SCREAMING TOO AND THEN THE GIRL SCREAMS AND THEN THE SPIDER SCREAMS AND THE GIRL SCREAMS AND THE SPIDERS SCREAM AND THE GIRL SCREAMS AND THE SPIDERS DIE IN SIZZLING SILENCE AND THE GIRL LAUGHS AND THEN HER DAD COMES OUT AND YELLS AT HER FOR MAKING ALL THIS NOISE AND PULLS HER BY THE HAIR AND THROWS HER IN THE BASEMENT AND THEN SHE CRIES AND FALLS ASLEEP AND WAKES UP AND WALKS TO THE FRIDGE AND EATS A BOILED EGG-
 That's what my mind used to be like when it was full of abusive, negative, and painful thoughts. (lulullululululul)  I would write about it publicly and privately and they slowly became less scary, and easier to control.  I'm so happy I resorted to blogging when I was going through the most darkest and lowest points of my life. It sure made things seem a little more dramatic, but I think getting a better grasp of your feelings, and typing out what you hear in your head, helps a lot. It helps you find yourself and it most certainly helps your mind grow a little more observant. Which I think is a good quality for anyone.

I may not have been posting actively, but fortunately, I keep a camera, pen, and notebook where ever I go,  so whenever I feel very passionate about something, I write, or take many photos.  Hopefully in the next few days I'll slowly be sharing them with you all! I had a good run with this blog, but I think it's time to turn new pages and start on a brighter note. The majority of posts in this blog were made when I was incredibly sad, depressed, or hurt. There were a few "happy" posts, which at one point made me go "aww how cute" but they all scream "naive" to me. I don't regret them, as I am well aware I needed to go through that to be where I am today.. I just don't really care for them, and I want to rid of anything that brings bitter thoughts. I want to start new, that's all. Everything I do now has been so much more happier and positive, I want to keep at that way.  My new blog will be full of other fun things for those who don't really care for reading, or my blabbers.. heh. anyway, thanks for reading this far, and if you've been sticking around since I first started this blog, I hope you join me in my next chapter! ~

Here is my new blog, please follow to see what's been happening! ^____^
http://sugar-pet.blogspot.com/