everything I do

reminds me of you.

5:18 pm
_________________________________________________________
The grass green and cool, like the still air. It's time to bring the laundry up again and as soon as I got to that familiar spot I set the basket down and sat. Looking around to make sure I was in the same exact place we both were just a few days ago. I even wondered if the rain and the sprinklers may have washed any left bit of you away, I ran my fingers on that spot and cussed "shit."
I didn't think It'd be this hard.
Yeah those 6 months seemed pretty easy to go through, but now that we've gotten to the point of physically seeing each other, I now have reached a whole different level of missing you. I know what your hands feel like against mine, or how my head fits on your shoulder and more.
What sucks even more is that all of these memories were created here. On Maui. Where I'll be staying on until I can get there. Being in my own room reminds me of you. I can't ever make Spam musibi's again and not think of you. DRINKING COKE, MY FAVORITE SODA REMINDS ME OF US. Playing with the kittens, taking the bus, walking through the mall, looking at my thumb infection/blister- I can keep going.
Remember Front Street?
I could say this was one of the most memorable times I've ever had with you. Getting shave ice, and looking through galleries. I have never ever had a guy that's be interested in art or even be inspired as much as I was. Someone who reassured me that he'd do anything in the world to help me with my dreams and aspirations. And someone who was getting excited just as much as I was when we were talking about our future.
This really was the best week ever. Going wherever the wind took us. Then somehow having everyday turn out perfect. I love how you never did get impatient with me, or annoyed at the fact of how distracted I get, how curious I was, or all over the place I was being. I was just being me, and you had no problem with it. You happily went along with it because you wanted to, too. I feel completely comfortable with you and I love it so much.
I think I only have one thing left to do!
I am going to go up to Front Street alone and I'm going to visit our tree carving, get some shave ice, and finish gallery viewing. I know it sounds like a bad idea, but I need to realize that you're not here anymore. I want this to motivate me even more so I can work as hard as I can for us. Since you left I've been missing you horribly. I've been trying to force my self to go to sleep all day so that I could escape the feelings. Now I just feel too tired to even sleep. I feel like I need to do this to wake myself up again and get out of this lovesick state as quick as I can. I want to rise those happy excited feelings I had the whole time I was with you.
brb! gonna edit this later!**