Flickering

11:38 pm.

I really want to get over this feeling right now.
I cried again and I don't know why. So here I am, on a partly full stomach, writing, typing, hoping that doing this will help ease the feelings I cannot even name.
It's nights like these where
Something really tiny first ignites it, sparks it, and then it just engulfs over my whole head, smoldering everything. Every hope and wish become specks of flickering glowing pieces of ash, my feelings are alive yet they are still burning, floating away from the heat and the oxygen is keeping them alive
Coughing and wheezing,
I feel like I'm taking those ashes, and sifting them into a strainer
with uneven holes, I am shaking and quivering but these ashes are not going through, they are forming into these complicated clumps, gathering into clusters and as I rumble them around I am now watching them grow, and I am seeing them in a whole different angle as they roll and sway about my basket. I just stare at them-

I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, but that's what I feel like whats going through my head. I'm just feeling depressed again, it's nothing new and I'll get over it soon, this helped a little, but I'm going to go outside to find Shadow, goodnight.

2:34 am

Ok I just wanted to hop onto the comp to say that I feel great and everything is fine now.
LOL.
......
It was the makeup sex.
HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE
ok toodles<3